A Letter to Our International Activists … Please, Pick a Side.

 Dear international friends and activists,

(I apologize beforehand if this is too harsh for some of you, but well … it was asked for)

I love you all, really, I do, but we need to clarify some important matters here. I believe we’re past the “any kind of support is good” phase and we need an upgrade.

There are millions of “Pro-Palestine” activists out there, but to each and every one of them Palestine holds a different definition, and even though having any kind of support to Palestinians is important, sometimes it’s not enough, not any more.

There are two issues affecting Pro-Palestinian activism worldwide. The first issue is that there is no one unified definition of what “Palestine” is. And the second is that some of this activism stands neutral, supporting “both sides” of the “conflict”. And none of these issues are their fault, it’s our fault as Palestinians for not making the matters clearer, and by writing this today it is nothing but a small attempt in changing some of the misunderstood facts, at least directed to my own friends and acquaintances who are pro-Palestinian activists.

The first and most controversial issue is: What is Palestine?

To most of the world – at least those who acknowledge its existence- it’s the West Bank and the Gaza Strip, and sometimes East Jerusalem as well (which is always stupid for me to refer to one city as two) and this terrible terrible mistake of defining Palestine as such must stop. I know, it’s the Palestine Liberation Organization’s fault for agreeing on these terms to define Palestine with in the first place, and it’s our fault as the Palestinian people for not speaking up, but let’s set the record straight.

Palestine is the West Bank, Gaza Strip, Jerusalem, and what is now called Israel. By only defining Palestine as the West Bank and Gaza Strip means that you are OKAY with everything that’s happened during 1947-1948 Nakba (Palestinian Catastrophe where thousands were murdered, hundreds of massacres and genocides, and where over 700,000 people were forcibly kicked out of their homes and are now refugees that reached 6 million people worldwide) and you completely accept it as something normal. 

Palestine’s “occupation” as it’s now legally called and acknowledged worldwide hasn’t started only in 1967, it started 66 years when Israel was created on Palestinian soil after eliminating thousands of people and leaving other thousands homeless and scattered around the world, where they are denied the right to come back; denied their “Right of Return”.  

I don’t mean to scare you off when I say that Palestine is also “Israel”, which is what we as Palestinians simply refer to as Palestine 48 (tracking it back to the day where it lost its name as Palestine and was turned into Israel). When I say so, don’t translate it as me saying “Oh, I am anti-Semitic (always funny to hear though, considering I’m technically a Semite myself), I don’t want the Jews to have a home, I am racist, let’s kick the Jews out and send them back to Europe or even better .. drown them in the sea!” No, this is what most people assume we mean when we refer to Israel as Palestine instead. So let’s set the record straight once and for all.

I as a Palestinian, a very proud one too, will never ever allow or want to make other people suffer the same way my people did. I will not kick someone out and take over their home, claim it to be my own, then erase their entire history as if it has never existed, or burn them to death, or demolish their homes, or torture them, or bomb their schools, or steal their land, or build walls –HUGE cement walls- to separate them, or humiliate them on checkpoints … I will try as hard as I can, as long as I breath, to never be turned into the monsters that my culprits were turned into. A holocaust survivor would never want to see another human being suffer the same as he\she did, but if they did eventually do so, or allow such inhumane-cruel crime to take place, then technically the Holocaust was never really over.

Therefore again, saying that Palestine is in fact is “Israel” translates into us not forgetting the tragic history that occurred 66 years ago, it does not mean we want to do the same crime against other people –in this case the Jews, Never! The logo “Never Again” is always connected to the crime of the Holocaust, but when we say “Never Again” it means none of these crimes should ever happen again; Holocaust or Nakba.

Hence no, saying that Palestine is actually what is now called “Israel”-from the river to the sea- won’t make you anti-anything, except being anti-injustice. The concept of Israel is pretty clear, it’s a racist state and a colonial power that keeps gaining its power through genocide and injustice, and being against a state with such “concept” behind it won’t make you any less human, Jewish, activist or anything.

If you’re truly concerned with Palestinian rights, you should be concerned with all Palestinians (West Bank, Gaza, Jerusalem, Diaspora, Palestinians with Israeli IDs) from the very beginning. You can’t start the story of Lion King from where Simba ran off, there is plenty that’s happened prior to that which led him to run (I know irrelevant story and example, but it’s the only thing I could come up with at the moment). It’s not a cause where you “select” what you want to support, either you are in all the way or you’re not. The tragedy started 66 years ago, not 47 years ago, acknowledge this fact.

Also remember, as nice (to Zionist liberals that is) as the idea of a “Two-State” solution is, it’ll only mean that years and years of crimes against Palestinians will go unpunished and not taken care of, and this is not what being a “human rights advocate” and an “activist” is about. There are huge numbers of Israeli activists, historians, scholars, and journalists (such as Gideon Levy) that consider themselves to be pro-Palestinian just because they support a Two-State solution, example of such is “J Street” group. This group defines itself as following, “J Street is the political home for pro-Israel, pro-peace Americans fighting for the future of Israel as the democratic homeland of the Jewish people. We believe that Israel’s Jewish and democratic character depend on a two-state solution, resulting in a Palestinian state living alongside Israel in peace and security.”

Well, I’m sorry to break it for you “J Street” people - and other Israelis and Americans who think they’re pro-Palestine because they support the Two-State solution- technically you’re worse than Settler-Colonial-Zionists themselves; at least these guys are honest, they don’t like us, they want us out of the country so they can have their promised land for the Jews and only the Jews. You people, J Street people and those of the sort, are nothing but –and sorry for being too forward- hypocrites. If you truly cared about Palestinian rights or even human rights for that matter, you would oppose such segregation and racism in the first place. 

You will ask for citizens to be treated equally and not have a country for people with a certain religion while others will be treated as second-class citizens or even less. You will ask for consequences and sanctions to be imposed for all the crimes that have been committed ever since 1948 in order for your “Jewish democratic homeland” to be established. In other words, “wanting peace for Palestinians”, “the Two-State Solution, and “Israel as a Jewish Democratic homeland” don’t even fit in the same paragraph. Groups like these, who preach peace but couldn’t be further away from it, only make matters worse not better; they literally preach racism under the name of peace.

When such groups go with this approach they should think of the following: agreeing to the Two-State suggestion is like telling the persecuted Jews in Europe –back then during the Holocaust- that they should live side by side (after all that’s been committed against them, without any kind of consequences against the culprits) with the Nazis and just deal with that reality, while knowing that they have homes that were taken from them, family members that were brutally murdered, and years and years of injustice. Injustice going unnoticed, unpunished, and without consequences is simply not right. The Jews have refused to let such oppression go unnoticed and prosecuted Germany, so why should we – as Palestinians- just “forget and forgive”?

The second issue with pro-Palestinian activism is being neutral. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want you to give up your humanity or anything, trust me, if there’s anyone out there who would love nothing more than people actually hold on to their humanity regardless of race, ethnicity, color, and religion, it’s us: Palestinians. But … being neutral, is not being humane: it is being a coward.

When you say “both sides are to blame for the Gaza war”, or that “I’m with both sides and this madness should end”, or “Both sides should stop being so stubborn and bury their differences in order to bring peace”, or “well, there’s always two sides to each story”, and some more “both sides, both sides, both sides …” you’re actually making the matters worse, not better.

By saying such statements you’re implying two things: either you don’t know enough about what’s really going on, or that you’re just another conflicted person in the world with double standards and not enough courage.

Only a couple of hours ago, the famous HONY photographer Brandon Stanton shared a picture from occupied Jerusalem, a beautiful picture.

In his recent travels and part of a worldwide journey, he started inserting the names of the cities he’s visiting with the name of the country right in the same space. But when he shared this beautiful picture from Jerusalem, he left the “country” space blank. I know his website is based on focusing only and solely on our humanity, but as all of us grown-ups here know, humanity alone is never enough.

As humans we make decisions, we pick our fights, and chase our passions with all of our hearts. We choose, that is what makes us who we are and helps us become the people we want to be. By choosing we create our identities. But by standing neutral on the sidelines, refusing to choose, in fear of losing popularity or fans, or in fear of criticism, then we become no one. I know by criticizing HONY’s Brandon I am going to be criticized for not “being human” or sympathetic, and that I’m too political … which is fine, because I at least know where I stand. As Aristotle has put it perfectly, “To avoid criticism say nothing, do nothing, BE NOTHING.”

It’s okay to pick a side, and if you picked the Palestinian side it doesn’t mean that you are against Jews or that you’re against Israelis themselves, and it doesn’t say that all Israelis are horrible, we know … there are good Israelis out there who refuse to be part of what the their government is doing under their names, they are not the problem. By criticizing Israel, you are criticizing colonialism, racism, apartheid, genocide, forced expulsion, arbitrary arrests … etc. Here you’re not against “people”, so when picking a side, you’re not losing your humanity, on the contrary, you’re taking a stand and defying inhumanity.

There is this phrase that’s been circulating on Facebook and Twitter during the last Gaza War that I find fitting to help understand what the problem is with such logic, and it says, “Blaming Hamas for firing rockets at Israel, is like blaming a woman for punching her rapist!” And when you, ladies and gentlemen, say “let’s hear what both sides have to say”, it is like asking the rapist how he felt raping her and how much it hurt when he got punched in the face by his victim. Total nonsense right?

So the statement “both sides” better be annihilated from your dictionary. Besides, I’m pretty sure that whoever came up with this “two sides” notion is some bastard colonial settler who wanted to justify why he was murdering innocent people, stealing lands he did not own, and enslaving others to forcibly work on his plantations, since according to him he’s only bringing “civilization” to humanity.

But, if you still want to stick to the whole “two sides” drama, I will give you these two sides you’ve been yearning for. Actually Rafeef Ziadah has already given us the two sides; you have the Occupier and the Occupied, the Colonizer and the Colonized.

So, there you have it, where would you rather stand?

I’d rather have someone come up and say straight to my face that they’re Zionists or Pro-Israel, than come and tell me both sides are hurting and both sides are suffering. I know, we’re all suffering, but there’s a difference between when a murderer suffers and goes unpunished and when a victim –as much as I hate being one- is suffering and no one is doing anything because some people were too afraid to take a stand. You don’t have to be passionate about “Palestinian rights” when talking privately to me, and then whispering the word “Palestine” when surrounded by a group of your international friends, so you wouldn’t hurt your Pro-Israel acquaintances and injure their ears with the word “Palestinian”, or God-forbid you refer to it as a country or a state on its own as Palestine.

Don’t be neutral, take a stand. Neutral is being passive, and isn’t the whole point of being an activist is to actually be “active” and make a clear decision? 

And I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, I really am so much grateful to anyone raising awareness or doing anything in support of Palestine, but some of the fogginess surrounding this cause had to be lifted.

We’re at dark times right now, where massacres are being committed against helpless victims; men, women, children … if we don’t take a stand, a clear stand, to end injustice now, then who would?

In the end, I apologize if I sound too harsh or impolite, but it all came from a heart filled with love and appreciation for you all. If being a Palestinian has taught me anything, it’s being brave, and being brave starts with simply “being”… with taking a stand. You don’t have to necessarily take my stand or support my cause; just don’t be passive and let things pass you by out of fear or ignorance.

So, my beautiful people, be brave.

Much love,

Wa’d 

“Exactly like Omar … Not”

I never thought of life here in Palestine as an action movie, or maybe it’s more of a mix between romantic ,action, and drama, the perfect combination for entertainment. Why would I really?

Yet I started to consider life here as such after an interesting conversation with the sweetest Jewish American group. We were talking about the situation here, and of course “the Wall” was included, and the topic of “crossing” the Wall came up. I told them we have the checkpoints, if they were too much to handle Jerusalem residents can go through a checkpoint on a bypass road, which is easier since they assume you’re a settler and you’d go right through no questions asked. Or, and this was the most interesting option, some Palestinian youth who don’t have blue IDs to let them pass or Israeli permits would simply climb off the wall with the assistance of a rope and a ladder.

At that thought this girl -she was one of those free-spirited, full of life and happiness characters- jumped in excitement and said, “You mean like Omar?” I laughed my heart out at the thought, well Hani Abu Assad sure did something right. I told her, “Exactly like Omar”. Then she resumed, “So cool! Now I could go back and tell my boyfriend that I saw the Wall that Omar climbs to see his girlfriend.”

I laughed again, it was ironically funny. But in my head I was saying, “Oh shit.”

It never occurred to me what impact Palestinian films like “Omar” and “Paradise Now” could have on people, especially non-Palestinians, or people who are associated to the Palestinian\Israeli conflict but not viewing matters from a Palestinian perspective. And that day, I was introduced to one of these perspectives.

It was that this Wall, this horrendous-ugly-disgusting Wall, was actually –partly- the reason behind an amazing tragedy. One hell of a story to tell, where you have the hot Palestinian hero climbing off walls ,shooting Israeli soldiers, being tortured, and agreeing to collaborate with his enemy for the sake of his one true love. Leaving all horrendous and “violent” details out, if we look at it that way, “Omar” would be the perfect fairytale, it can even work as a Disney movie.

The problem is, it’s NOT a fairytale. It’s too realistic.

And this brings us to the main issue, will romanticizing the Palestinian reality do us more harm than good?

I spent four months of my last semester in college trying to figure this out. I literally criticized the hell out of this amazing Native American activist because she was romanticizing herself, her community, and her cause. But to be totally honest the research about this Native American was a bit personal to me, I was criticizing her while in fact I was criticizing myself. I was also a romanticizer of reality, like her, it was the perfect escape. If we looked at matters here truthfully, without filters, or adjustments, I don’t think we could handle it. I know I couldn’t. 

But have we taken it too far? Making it almost desirable? … Maybe we did.

Growing up I fell in love with the image of the young Palestinian guys with their Kuffiyes’ wrapped around their heads and faces only showing their eyes, and their hands clutching the rocks so hard they bleed.

Fell in love with the image of the slingshot in their hands, and that revolutionary gleam in their eyes.

Fell in love with the fire burning so bright coming out of the Molotov Cocktails thrown by the hands of the revolutionists and their full of rage and power screams while sending it through the Israeli barriers to cross them triumphantly.

So when Omar, this young handsome Palestinian, was presented to us as the courageous hero who climbs Israeli Walls so he’d be closer to his friends and the love of his life, of course we’re going to fall head over heels in love with him. It’s the image of the Revolutionist from ages and ages ago, but this time brought in this attractive form to attract people other than “us” –other than Palestinians. We are familiar with this image of the revolutionary Palestinian, but not everyone worldwide is, mostly worldwide –when it comes to Palestinians- this image is related to terrorism. Not once the question of “Why” has occurred, why are these young Palestinians throwing rocks? Why are they shooting Israeli Soldiers? They sure look violent and angry, but why?

The “why” never mattered, because it wasn’t in the benefits of these people spreading these images, until Palestinians themselves took matters into hand, like Hanny Abu Assad. Even though I’m not a huge fan of “Paradise Now”, because it seemed to me a bit of an audience-pleaser (international audience), but it was the first film exposed to foreign audience that presented the question of “Why?”

According to Dr. Bader Araj’s research, “Suicide Bombing as Tragedy and Interaction: The Case of the Second Intifada”, there are many motives and reasons that answer the “why” question. Among the motives is this one: “Desire to regain one’s reputation due to the suicide bomber having engaged in shameful behavior, such as collaboration with the enemy.” And this is the one Hanny Abu Assad chose for his movie “Paradise Now”, where we have this young Palestinian who blows himself up in an Israeli bus, in order to honor the name of his disgraced family. His father was a collaborator with the Israeli Intelligence, meaning his father would “snitch” on his fellow Palestinians that are designated by Israel as terrorists, and hence the Israeli Intelligence would wipe them off the face of earth. 

In Palestine it’s not easy being a collaborator, especially if you get caught. Not only will your life be ruined or eliminated, but your family will suffer of disgrace and alienation as well. (And here I’m not going to discuss if these methods of punishment are justifiable or not, it’s another topic all on its own). Now if we look closely at the motives behind Abu Assad choosing this particular motive to commit suicide bombing, it might not seem so clear. At first it might feel it’s because of the Palestinian barbarians who executed Said’s –the suicide bomber in the film- father as punishment for his betrayal of his people.  But the question doesn’t stop there, automatically you’ll have to ask some follow-up questions like, “Why did the Palestinians execute him? Why did he become a collaborator?” … etc. These questions among others will lead to one result: the gruesome Israeli Occupation.

We witness this same notion of driving people to ask critical questions in “Omar”, where we know this young man and his friends shot dead an Israeli soldier at an Israeli checkpoint. In this film it’s a little bit clearer, where we see him climbing the Wall and getting shot at by Israeli soldiers, or when he’s humiliated by Israeli soldiers when he’s on his way back home and they end up beating him up, and in the end he simply sums up the motive loud and clear when his friends ask him “Why now?” (in reference to why do their operation of killing the soldier that night) and he replies, “Everyday we wait is another day of occupation.” In other words, resistance has to happen, there is no other way. And this would push towards the direction of other questions, such as: “What is the Israeli Occupation? When did it start? So this territory was originally Palestinian? So Israel was also founded on a Palestinian land? … etc”

Yet all of these signs might not be clear to everyone, in the end it is “pretty cool” that a guy would go through so many dangers for the girl he loves. But while fantasizing about how “cool” that is, the other intense motives were a bit undermined. He was not only fighting for the love of his girl, it was also for the security of this love (though I’m kind of allergic to the word “security” giving the circumstances), for a safe haven to resort to, for a place to call home, for a place where you would simply “walk” home instead of climbing walls. The Palestinian struggle isn’t a struggle for the land, the olive tree, the mosque or the church: it’s a struggle for the people. The reason we do all that we do is because we love our cause, and our cause is our people.

So many times on so many occasions I would say to myself, screw this I’m done with this Palestine drama, but then I realize it’s not my decision to make. Thousands and thousands of Palestinians were killed, injured, displaced over and over again since 1948. It is a struggle for life that’s been occurring and reoccurring for years, and I can’t just give it up. This fight for our people is a fight of resorting justice and regaining the safe haven we lost years ago. Who am I to give that up?

It’s about our people, it was always about the people, about love, friendship, and restoring the sanctity of life.

So the question of whether romanticizing the situation is a downside or the opposite, still remains. 

Sometime we need to beautify the situation a little, to make it more bearable. The real problem occurs when we fall in love with this beautified version of reality. After all, who wouldn’t want to be a revolutionist? A freedom fighter? But our hearts could easily get heart-broken and we’d fall out of love with this image when one of these revolutionists gets killed by an Israeli bullet. Waking up of that fantasy is devastating, all of us glorified Muhammad Abu Khdeir and praised him as a heroic martyr, but the reality says that kid was terrified to death. He’s been kidnapped, tortured, and burnt ALIVE. Nothing can beautify this picture, EVER!

That’s why it’s important to remember on what basis these movies and stories are built, they’re not a fantasy or one heck of an agonizing tragedy. It’s real life, it’s our daily life, so there should be tremendous effort to not undermine it.

When the American group had to leave Ramallah and go through the Israeli checkpoint, I felt horrible they had to go through it. It’s never a pleasant experience to go through, but when I talked to the same full-of-life girl, she said, “Don’t worry, it’s okay. It’ll make a good story to tell”. I wish I had her optimism, but how could I when the checkpoint isn’t a one-time experience to me? It’s a humiliating process that I have to go through almost daily.

So I only wish at some point of the future we will reach the stage where the situation would merely be “good stories to tell”, but for now let’s emphasize the impact they have on us as our actual daily reality.

                 

Additional information:

1.      Bypass roads are Settlers-only (Jewish only) roads that connect the illegal Israeli Settlements in the West Bank with Jerusalem, but if you have the “Blue ID” and a car with yellow plates (Israeli plates) you can pass through the checkpoint on these roads without any obstacles or humiliation.

2.      “Blue ID” is the legal document Palestinian residents who live in East Jerusalem hold, and it’s not really an ID, it’s a permit that allows us (East Jerusalem residents) to move “freely” between the West Bank and Jerusalem through the checkpoints, but not Gaza. And it gives us the “permission” to live in Jerusalem as well, but it has to be renewed regularly in order to gain the “rights” to move and live “freely”.

3.      Palestinians in the West Bank have the “Green ID”, and they can’t pass through the checkpoints or the bypass roads’ checkpoints unless they have Israeli permits, which are extremely difficult to obtain.

4.      The Wall mentioned above, is the Separation\Annexation\Apartheid Wall, just so we’re clear. Not the security fence thing they keep inventing, it’s a real cement wall. Ask whoever came to visit here, or Google it.

Hannity and his 3000-rockets complex!

Most of you have probably heard of Fox News most famous bully Sean Hannity, personally I never bother to listen to anything he says, but … I do enjoy it when others replay what he says and –well- make fun of him and point out his biases, like Jon Stewart or Russel Brand.

Recently I’ve watched this video of his, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VaEOc6erZA (not a fan of the title of the video, but we’re here for the content not the title)

In this video, he’s responding to Russell Brand’s criticism and satire of his –Sean Hannity- twisted logic and barbaric bullying of his Pro-Palestine guests. You’re only considered to be a respectable guest on his show if you’re pro-Israel. The interesting part though, is that one of his guests makes the terrible mistake of admitting that there are “two sides” to the story. The second he blurts out these simple little words of truth, Hannity starts playing his same repeated -old- record, “3000 rockets! 3000 rockets! 3000 rockets into Israel! Rockets! 3000! .... !” and he would go on forever if he could.

This video is almost over a week old, so now the 3000 rockets are much more. According to your beloved “IDF”blog, they’ve reached 4000. Terrifying right? I mean you’ve said it yourself Hannity, what if the United States was being targeted with over 3000 rockets? And I quote your words literally, “If 3000 rockets were fired into America, wouldn’t you obliterate the infrastructure of the group responsible?” True words of wisdom Hannity, really, I’m impressed you have some kind of logic.

So, let’s apply this logic of yours on the situation one more time. The statistics I’m about to share were published on August, 9^th 2014, so keep in mind the numbers have definitely increased.

Until 12:00 pm on the 9^th of August there have been 5635 Artillery Shells attacks, 5630 Air Strikes, and 2450 Gunboats attacks over Gaza. There are over 1903 murdered Gazans by these attacks, in addition to over 10,625 damaged houses (whether completely destroyed or partially).

Now not-so-dear Hannity, when the statistics say there are over 5630 Israeli Airstrikes –and here I’m not even  talking about the artillery shells or gunboats attacks- over Gaza it doesn’t mean only 5630 rockets. No no, every airstrike bombs several “targets”, as the IDF likes to call them, and these so-called targets (that till this moment are mainly unarmed civilians) could vary from 60 to 100, and by the end of the day Israel hits over 150 “targets” (100-200 locations, which are either houses, medical centers, schools, mosques, playgrounds …etc).

Now it’s time to use your imagination.

Imagine how many rockets have been fired into Gaza when you have over 5000 airstrikes targeting over a 100 locations daily. Can you imagine that? I sure can’t. The number of rockets would be beyond tremendous, too huge that Israel needed to request an emergency renewal of US ammunitions! As Jon Stewart has put it, “They were running out of shit to blow up”. Just try to think of what this actually means.

It means they have used most of their ammunition! And here you are, arguing over and over again about how inhumane and unrealistic it is that Hamas fired 3000 thousand rockets into Israel! Even though, according to your logic, it’s only reasonable that Hamas would respond this way. I mean, wouldn’t you obliterate the infrastructure of the group responsible of firing this amount of rockets into your country?

Sir, your double standards and one-sided views are really getting annoying, and I’m only using the word “annoying” just to be polite.

If you want to criticize something or someone so passionately then please at least have ALL the information, and not just pick whatever piece of news suits you. Journalism doesn’t work that way, journalism is about being passionate, true, and a deliverer of facts. Not using whatever facts you want to serve your own biased agenda.

In short Mr. Hannity, GROW UP!

P.S. If you need reliable sources for information, just let me know, since you’re not really doing a very good job finding them.

                                      "The one and only Hannity" 

It's not an Intifada ... not yet!

I know I’m writing this, but it’s not my experience. Not alone.  We all went through it, the 10,000 marching towards Qalandia on July 25th and the other thousands who couldn’t be personally there but were spiritually. In addition to the thousands that marched towards checkpoints all around the West Bank, from Nablus to Hebron to Bethlehem. Each one of us went through it however they could handle it.

Some were merely by-standers. Some were the ones carrying the rocks. Some were the ones passing around the rocks. Some were the ones passing around water bottles. Some were the flag holders and chanters. Some would use their phones to light the ground when it went dark to make the rocks more visible and easier to pick up. Some were holding the cameras. Some were sending little kids back home. Some were yelling “don’t be scared, keep moving forward”. Some were carrying the wounded. Some WERE the wounded. And some died.

It was a demonstration like no other.

It was called the 48 thousand march to Jerusalem, on the night before the last Friday in Ramadan designated as “International Jerusalem Day”. Why the specific number, 48? Because it refers back to 1948 Nakba, and this being a way to remind the world that the massacre that is happening in Gaza against Palestinians isn’t the first, many have occurred prior to 1948, during 1948, and after 1948.

Yes, the number of protesters didn’t reach 48 thousand, but thousands did show up.

I’ve been to demonstrations before, not many, but none were like this one. It wasn’t just the youth or refugees from refugee camps (who are usually the first to move when any kind of injustice happens). Also it wasn’t just Ramallah. Palestinians from Jerusalem, different parts of the West Bank, and even Palestinians with Israeli citizenship (coming from what is now called Israel) all gathered together at 9 pm in front of al-Am’ari Refugee Camp. Men, women, youth, and children. It was beautiful.

To be honest I wasn’t with them there, at al-Am’ari. I was waiting on our balcony till their march gets closer to our house (it's a 5 minute walking distance from Qalandia Checkpoint) and then I’ll come down to join them. I was sitting, nervously, waiting for them to show up and finally they did. The second I could hear their chants coming closer, my heart missed a beat. It was so loud, so so loud. If this march was in Gaza and they were screaming and chanting this loudly nobody would even hear the rockets falling.

I went alone, I didn’t call any of my friends or family members. I knew I didn’t need to. Not this time. This time no body needed the support, motivation or convincing of anybody to go, our muscles were moving involuntarily towards the march, towards Qalandia, towards Jerusalem, with our hearts beating only for Gaza.  So I wasn’t alone, I found my family and friends there. And technically, none of us were strangers to each other anymore, we were all united.

The purpose of this demonstration was clear, to get together to pray for Gaza and afterwards move towards Jerusalem, the same Jerusalem millions of Palestinians are denied entry to, because they have the “wrong”  ID color.

But it didn’t work out that way.

The minute the protesters reached the checkpoint the Israeli Occupation Army started firing live bullets. After some time here, you’ll start recognizing live ammunition from rubber bullets pretty easily. 

Things got messy.

This demonstration had children, old men and women, they can’t be there any longer and so the demonstrators started acting very quickly. These “easy targets” should be moved to safety right away. So they started bringing them to the back, some actually refused. An old man said, “All my grandchildren are upfront, let me be with them.” One kid, no older than 11 or 12, was practically begging to stay and his older brother yelled at him whole-heartedly telling him to go back home to the camp and right away. Some parents even took their kids’ hands, put them way in the back with some safe company and went back upfront.

A lot of these scenes occurred over and over again, one of the most touching to me was this one father. He never let go of his daughter’s hand, they were way in the back and made their way slowly till they’ve reached the front –the most dangerous place to be- and whenever a sound bomb was sent their way, or a hail of bullets, he wouldn’t leave his daughter’s hand. It was beautiful. Painful yes, frightening yes, but something about it made the pain and fear fade away more and more. Together, they were safe.

I won’t lie to you, I’m not against a third Intifada, being silent while so many atrocities and oppression is taking place by our occupiers shouldn’t be even an option. But, I’m against pointless bloodshed. I’m against going out saying we are here for martyrdom. I’m against little kids throwing themselves in the front lines of combat. I’m against chaos, and this is exactly what happened last night. It was the opposite all of that mentioned just now.

For the first time ever in a demonstration, people weren’t out there to die. Yes I admit it, sometimes it seems like we –as Palestinians- have a death wish. Which nobody should judge, we’re talking about millions of Palestinians with nothing more to lose, but not last night. No chants of “We die, so Palestine lives” were chanted, no kids were allowed to be in the front lines, and we weren’t out there to die, on the contrary. Last night was one hell of a cry saying, “We are here to stay. We are here because we love life, and we are not backing down”.

Still, some kids made their way to the front, hundreds were injured with live bullets that we couldn’t even hear where they came from. And yes, some have died. But no one can or should or even dare to say it’s because Palestinians take their lives to be so trifle or insignificant. If anybody did, it’s because they’re ignorant or blind, which at times I was.

Just because we were out there burning tires, setting fireworks up, and throwing rockets as a response for live ammunition and bombs, doesn’t mean we’re suicidal. There’s this famous saying that I resent so much which states, “To exist is to resist”. Well no, it’s not enough. We’ve “existed” for a very long time and it didn’t get us anywhere. The only time we breathed life was when we took action.

That's why it's a crime on its own to say that Gazans don't have any desire to live, since "all they do is" refuse temporary cease-fires. Gazans are probably the ones who strive for life the most, after being deprived from it on daily basis for the past 8 years of three wars and life under siege. They refuse these either too short cease-fires or too-permanent pauses because they know they won't end the siege. The only terms on which Gazans would agree to let this stop, is when they make sure the siege will be lifted and their freedom will be granted. So they shall never live under fire and death ever again. That's a deep desire to live, not die. 

Again, yesterday was something of a phenomenon.

The more they shot bullets the more we moved forward. Who ever got scared would have someone to calm him\her down. If you got tired or thirsty, someone would hand you a bottle of water right away. When you couldn’t even see the ground –at times- to pick up a rock, a mother would come with her phone to light the path for you, while calmly saying to you “Here habibty, God bless you”. If you couldn’t find any more rocks, someone would have more rocks ready for you.  And people stuck together. Even when a lot were injured, you’d still have someone to take care of you and work hard on not letting you lose your soul just yet.  And most importantly, when someone would get too carried away, someone will calmly remind them, “We’re not here to die, we’re here to pass through, we’re here to cross the checkpoint”.

And for the first time, this was the closer I’ve gotten to Israeli bullets. Two young men were hit by live ammunition right next to me, and one was shot on the roof with a sniper’s bullet right above me. People came rushing to them, carrying them to get them to the paramedics, and they were screaming in pain. The sound of their wailing still hasn’t left my mind.

But still, in amidst of the bullets hail and sound bombs never have I felt safer. The smell of tear-gas canisters never smelled more heavenly, because I wasn’t out there alone, and this wasn’t about me. The second this notion sinks in, nothing else matters and nothing else could stand in the way. I could finally understand why these guys hurling at the IOF with rocks always seem so fearless, it’s because they are.

It’s true. Yesterday we didn’t bring back the lost lives in Gaza. We didn’t cross the checkpoint and we didn’t “free Palestine”… but, the spirit that people were marching down the checkpoint with was like no other. This is not an Intifada, not yet. A third Intifada will arise eventually, and it won’t be bloodshed because we’re out there with nothing to lose. It’ll be bloodshed ONLY because of the bullets of scared 20-something soldiers who were much more afraid of the Palestinians with the rocks, than these Palestinians were of their bullets.

If you’ll ask the humble me, Israel is witnessing a new generation of Palestinians. Yes, ever since we were subjects to Zionist and Israeli occupation, we were fearless. But it always felt that we were fighting back to prove something to the world. That we’re humans, we’re victims, we’re under occupation, “come precious world and save us” … and we were always waiting for a response back, something to stop this oppression, but not this time. This time it’s for us. We’re done waiting for an audience,  and we’re done waiting for a silent International Community that instead of condemning the Colonization and Occupation by Israel  of Palestine and stopping the war crimes, are doing nothing  but lingering it time after time after time.

As Rafeef Ziadah has perfectly put it, “and let me just tell you, there’s nothing your UN Resolutions have ever done about this.”  So when people here start taking matters on their own, please just do the same as you always do, spare us your “condemnation reports”, stand on the sidelines, and let us finish our business of fulfilling our Freedom. We don’t need any laws or statements to make our fight for freedom legitimate, we already know that, it’s time you realize this as well. You either join this march for freedom, or withdraw from this arena all together.

And yesterday, was only the first step. 

                                         "At Qalandia Checkpoint "

                                      "The aftermath the next morning"

I resent those who die peacefully ...

It’s been above 10 days since Israel started its military operation (massacre) over Gaza, so far – and keep in mind this massacre is still going and the numbers of murdered people will only keep increasing- there are 220 dead Gazans bombarded by Israeli –paid by U.S. taxes- missiles with over 1623 injured, and still counting. While at the same time there is one dead Israeli who was volunteering for the IOF (Israeli Occupation Forces) in addition to several injuries by Qassam’s missiles.  

In this small nothing of an article, I’ll try not to be emotional as much as possible. I won’t plead for your inner human to act and do something, I hate this method anyway. I think it’s pathetic if you’ll ask me, to only pull people to your cause based on emotions and heart-breaking images of bombarded house, decapitated children, and bloody burnt bodies. Because it doesn’t really do anything, people will get heart-broken, pray to a God who never does anything, and move on.

I’d rather we deal with facts, real actions happening on real ground, with analysis, and sometimes with numbers. Because humanity no longer exists to me, it’s circumstantial; it’s an invented term that we convinced ourselves of and only use it when we want to, not when it demands us to. I don’t believe in it, so I’ll try to pull away from this so-called humanity as much as possible.

In these past 10 days of hell a lot has been going on, other than the act of murder of innocent people. Yes we were heart-broken, yes we had a lot of sleepless nights doing nothing but crying and wailing over the news of hearing that a an entire family of relatives and loved ones, of 18 members, were murdered all at once leaving children behind with nothing but the occupied sky to look after them, and then repeated all over again when another family is erased. Boo hoo right? How awful it is for us, you know the ones who DON’T have missiles bombing their houses on daily and hourly basis? But never mind. Again this is not the point here, I promise I won’t let my inner-invented-human come up again.

In these past 10 days I tried to keep as much track as possible of media worldwide covering this so-called conflict between Hamas and Israel, and the results that I –among many others- have reached are beyond comprehensible. That’s on one hand, on the other hand the Israeli logic continues to amaze me with the bullshit it feeds people locally and worldwide, and how terrifying it is that people actually believe it!

Among the bullshit that the media –filled with Israeli propaganda- is telling people is that A) Hamas has waged this war, and they’re a terrorist organization using their citizens as human shields to protect their missile launchers and do their dirty work. B) It is not a massacre; it is a conflict between two even sides, and after all Israel IS fighting for a righteous cause: annihilating terrorism. C) Regardless of the situation, the “IDF” are the most moral army in the world where they warn their victims before bombing the hell out of them.

I could write pages and pages, if not books, on how the media is blinded and blinding its receivers of this news and I could refute it, but Jon Stewart with his satirical comedy has done a very good job summing it up in 3 minutes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VheYOMyjTg0 

But still I have several remarks on the topic, if you'll tolerate me.

As to the so-called definite fact that Hamas “waged this war”, let me remind you that Netanyahu accused Hamas of being the culprit  behind the murder of the three settlers in Hebron a couple of weeks back, and he promised that they would pay. And he kept his promise by immediately bombing Gaza with rockets.

Then you’d always have the word “terrorist” connected to Hamas, because they fire rockets at innocent Israeli citizens. And every time I hear this I find myself wondering, what if there was a Palestinian country and Hamas militants were the “official” army of this country. You know they have the suits, the different levels of commands, commanders, lieutenants , and generals , their own slogans, and Army’s spokesperson...etc. Will that make it okay? Will they stop being terrorists? 

Because if you’ll ask me, the IDF is one of the biggest terrorist organizations on the planet, the only difference is the fancy suits and huge pay-checks they get over Palestinian dead bodies. In other words, the IDF is more “legal” and “official” than Hamas, and Hamas militants don’t have a "state" to protect like the IDF. They merely have a nation to protect, over 1.7 million Gazans who have been living in an open-air prison for the past 8 years, but still. They don’t have a "state", so “technically” they’re not “legitimate”.

And then to back up the “definite” fact mentioned above, you’ll keep hearing this phrase over and over again on the news: “Hamas use their citizens as human shields”, this has got to be the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. How are they using them as human shields? Was it by hiding rocket-launchers in their citizens’ houses, mosques, and hospitals? If that’s the case, how come no militants or their weaponry were found among these citizens’ burnt bodies or their houses’ ruins? Where are these dangerously armed Hamas militants? Even the Israeli media can’t confirm that they’ve actually hit a Hamas target and succeeded.

Now the argument made above will only make sense if you’re a sick psychopath that needs a mental hospital immediately. Because if you think for one second, that it is okay or acceptable or necessary to kill an entire family in order to get rid of one threat –with no clear evidence- then I’m telling you, from the deepest place in my heart, go lock yourself somewhere and never come out ever again and punish yourself by banging your head to the wall for the rest of your life.

I understand war is chaotic, messy, and ugly. But what’s happening in Gaza is not a war, it is genocide, a new holocaust that’s happening on daily basis and the entire world is justifying it as “necessary” to stop “terrorism”. I don’t know what’s more horrifying, how innocent lives are easily lost in Gaza or how it’s accepted globally by people as something “required” and “needed” to happen in order to establish “world peace”. Well, I’m sorry to break it for you people, blood and peace don’t really mix well together. If it’s bloody, it’s not peace, it is murder.

Still, regardless of all that has been mentioned above, the IDF still consider themselves to be the most moral army in the world, and this is their proof:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHsMrbXmN9Y

You would immediately notice how disgusting it is, and how this army actually justifies the murder of over 200 innocent people. How? By pretending it never happened. They actually convince themselves that they are targeting empty houses, that by sending  “warning rockets” (that also does tons of damage on its own before the “real” rockets hit) they are actually saving lives, and that by sending warnings or calling Gazans to evacuate they are giving them a chance to run for their life.

Are they really this blind and this stupid? Or is it just a method to convince themselves that they are merely “humans” defending their holy Israel? Or do they care in the first place if their targets were actually Hamas militants or innocent people? Because also, according to the Israeli logic, these citizens are protecting Hamas militants and hence they are culprits that are helping a terrorist organization, and therefore why shouldn’t they die as well?

If this is the army being moral, then now I believe morality is also an invented concept that we use as we desire, or as people in power desire.

I know I promised not to play the “we’re all humans” card, but I can’t help it.

Yesterday four kids –with the oldest being 11- were bombed by an Israeli missile while playing soccer on the beach. How did the Israelis receive this “irrelevant piece of news”? As if it never happened, or as if it’s expected to happen, or blamed Palestinians themselves for it. How dare these stupid Palestinians send their kids out to play on the beach, it is war!!! And so what if four have died, the Israelis had three abducted and murdered, so these four kids aren’t better than the three murdered settlers. 

Now with this kind of logic, from the Israeli military to the Israeli citizens to the world media and countries, don’t come and lecture me about “moralities”, “two-sides“ bullshit, and “why can’t we all be humans” nonsense. When the three Israeli settlers went missing, the entire world knew what they looked like, how old they were, what their names were and their favorite hobbies. 

But when over 220 were bombed to death, the world seemed to let it slip through. No faces, no names, no hobbies … they are nothing. They are numbers. They are not even humans. They are the ones who brought it upon themselves for protecting Hamas missiles, because you know … Palestinian 11-year-old kids are miniature-adults and are supposed to be held responsible for Hamas’s actions and so it’s okay to bomb the hell out of them. They’re nothing but collateral damage.

And then again, the media would still say the Gazans are warned, they have time to evacuate, why won’t they go anywhere safe? Why are there no shelters?

 Well maybe if Gaza wasn’t bombed every two years, and maybe if construction materials were allowed in, and maybe if there was infrastructure in the first place, maybe then Gazans will be able to have shelters. But other than that, Gaza is not just the biggest open-air prison on planet earth anymore; it’s the biggest cemetery as well.

And as much as I’d love it if they can actually “swim for it”, as Jon Stewart has indicated in his comic satire of the situation, he forgot a tiny small detail. The sea is also controlled by the Israelis, so scratch that off the list of the possibilities to escape. There is no escape.

Looking back on this past month alone, and for a second here I’ll forget about decades of pain and oppression, from the kidnapping of the three “human” settlers, to their murder, to the kidnapping of Muhammad Abu Khdeir and burning him to death, to the massacre of Gazans for the past 10 days … I find myself resenting people in general more and more. I resent it when I’m scrolling down facebook newsfeed to have someone celebrating their birthday among two posts of how four kids in Gaza were bombed while playing on the beach, and how a hospital for the handicapped was bombed. I can’t tolerate “happy” and “relieved” at the moment. Every time I laugh at something, or drink my favorite coffee, or have the luxury to read my books calmly and comfortably, I feel guilty and I resent myself.

At least it started like this, me resenting myself and then it kept growing and growing. Then I started resenting happy people, and afterwards it grew some more. Now more than ever I resent those who die peacefully, I don’t want to know about an 86 year-old man who died peacefully in the arms of his family and loved ones.  I don’t want to know about some heroic woman who lost her battle against cancer and was able to say goodbye to every single one of her loved ones. I resent them. Why do they get a chance to say goodbye? Why do they get to have some kind of a safe lifetime with their loved ones while kids and innocent people are being bombed to death?

“Don’t be so cruel” was what my friend from Gaza has told me when I confined to her my resentment of people with ordinary lives. The girl who is right under the wing of death on daily basis is telling me to not be so cruel. Then she added, “Don’t let the war take away your humanity from you, it has already taken too many humans”.

But well, I had to disappoint her, I had already lost my humanity. I admit it, I’m no longer the sympathetic, equal-rights advocate (wanna-be), and humanitarian that I was once considered to be. I lost that segment, but then again the world isn’t any better.

Actually, for once in human history we are all equal. We are all bystanders to massacres committed against innocent people on daily basis, bystanders to massacres in Syria, in Gaza, in Iraq, in different parts of Africa, in Ukrain … etc.

So maybe the Palestinian media and Pro-Palestine activists should stop begging and pleading people around the world to “wake up”, and stop screaming at them with “where’s your humanity” while carrying images of disfigured bodies of little kids who were bombed to death. If anything at the moment, it’s only pointless and inhumane.

And since we’re all inhuman in this together, it won’t make a difference anyway. 

                                                

This portrait is by Mohammad Qaraqe': a 13-year-old young artist who lives in gaza.

This portrait was found on the facebook page "Humans of Palestine"

Click here t be directed to it.