The No-life of a Palestinian ..: I resent those who die peacefully ...

It’s been above 10 days since Israel started its military operation (massacre) over Gaza, so far – and keep in mind this massacre is still going and the numbers of murdered people will only keep increasing- there are 220 dead Gazans bombarded by Israeli –paid by U.S. taxes- missiles with over 1623 injured, and still counting. While at the same time there is one dead Israeli who was volunteering for the IOF (Israeli Occupation Forces) in addition to several injuries by Qassam’s missiles.

In this small nothing of an article, I’ll try not to be emotional as much as possible. I won’t plead for your inner human to act and do something, I hate this method anyway. I think it’s pathetic if you’ll ask me, to only pull people to your cause based on emotions and heart-breaking images of bombarded house, decapitated children, and bloody burnt bodies. Because it doesn’t really do anything, people will get heart-broken, pray to a God who never does anything, and move on.

I’d rather we deal with facts, real actions happening on real ground, with analysis, and sometimes with numbers. Because humanity no longer exists to me, it’s circumstantial; it’s an invented term that we convinced ourselves of and only use it when we want to, not when it demands us to. I don’t believe in it, so I’ll try to pull away from this so-called humanity as much as possible.

In these past 10 days of hell a lot has been going on, other than the act of murder of innocent people. Yes we were heart-broken, yes we had a lot of sleepless nights doing nothing but crying and wailing over the news of hearing that a an entire family of relatives and loved ones, of 18 members, were murdered all at once leaving children behind with nothing but the occupied sky to look after them, and then repeated all over again when another family is erased. Boo hoo right? How awful it is for us, you know the ones who DON’T have missiles bombing their houses on daily and hourly basis? But never mind. Again this is not the point here, I promise I won’t let my inner-invented-human come up again.

In these past 10 days I tried to keep as much track as possible of media worldwide covering this so-called conflict between Hamas and Israel, and the results that I –among many others- have reached are beyond comprehensible. That’s on one hand, on the other hand the Israeli logic continues to amaze me with the bullshit it feeds people locally and worldwide, and how terrifying it is that people actually believe it!

Among the bullshit that the media –filled with Israeli propaganda- is telling people is that A) Hamas has waged this war, and they’re a terrorist organization using their citizens as human shields to protect their missile launchers and do their dirty work. B) It is not a massacre; it is a conflict between two even sides, and after all Israel IS fighting for a righteous cause: annihilating terrorism. C) Regardless of the situation, the “IDF” are the most moral army in the world where they warn their victims before bombing the hell out of them.

I could write pages and pages, if not books, on how the media is blinded and blinding its receivers of this news and I could refute it, but Jon Stewart with his satirical comedy has done a very good job summing it up in 3 minutes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VheYOMyjTg0

But still I have several remarks on the topic, if you'll tolerate me.

As to the so-called definite fact that Hamas “waged this war”, let me remind you that Netanyahu accused Hamas of being the culprit behind the murder of the three settlers in Hebron a couple of weeks back, and he promised that they would pay. And he kept his promise by immediately bombing Gaza with rockets.

Then you’d always have the word “terrorist” connected to Hamas, because they fire rockets at innocent Israeli citizens. And every time I hear this I find myself wondering, what if there was a Palestinian country and Hamas militants were the “official” army of this country. You know they have the suits, the different levels of commands, commanders, lieutenants , and generals , their own slogans, and Army’s spokesperson...etc. Will that make it okay? Will they stop being terrorists?

Because if you’ll ask me, the IDF is one of the biggest terrorist organizations on the planet, the only difference is the fancy suits and huge pay-checks they get over Palestinian dead bodies. In other words, the IDF is more “legal” and “official” than Hamas, and Hamas militants don’t have a "state" to protect like the IDF. They merely have a nation to protect, over 1.7 million Gazans who have been living in an open-air prison for the past 8 years, but still. They don’t have a "state", so “technically” they’re not “legitimate”.

And then to back up the “definite” fact mentioned above, you’ll keep hearing this phrase over and over again on the news: “Hamas use their citizens as human shields”, this has got to be the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. How are they using them as human shields? Was it by hiding rocket-launchers in their citizens’ houses, mosques, and hospitals? If that’s the case, how come no militants or their weaponry were found among these citizens’ burnt bodies or their houses’ ruins? Where are these dangerously armed Hamas militants? Even the Israeli media can’t confirm that they’ve actually hit a Hamas target and succeeded.

Now the argument made above will only make sense if you’re a sick psychopath that needs a mental hospital immediately. Because if you think for one second, that it is okay or acceptable or necessary to kill an entire family in order to get rid of one threat –with no clear evidence- then I’m telling you, from the deepest place in my heart, go lock yourself somewhere and never come out ever again and punish yourself by banging your head to the wall for the rest of your life.

I understand war is chaotic, messy, and ugly. But what’s happening in Gaza is not a war, it is genocide, a new holocaust that’s happening on daily basis and the entire world is justifying it as “necessary” to stop “terrorism”. I don’t know what’s more horrifying, how innocent lives are easily lost in Gaza or how it’s accepted globally by people as something “required” and “needed” to happen in order to establish “world peace”. Well, I’m sorry to break it for you people, blood and peace don’t really mix well together. If it’s bloody, it’s not peace, it is murder.

Still, regardless of all that has been mentioned above, the IDF still consider themselves to be the most moral army in the world, and this is their proof:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHsMrbXmN9Y

You would immediately notice how disgusting it is, and how this army actually justifies the murder of over 200 innocent people. How? By pretending it never happened. They actually convince themselves that they are targeting empty houses, that by sending “warning rockets” (that also does tons of damage on its own before the “real” rockets hit) they are actually saving lives, and that by sending warnings or calling Gazans to evacuate they are giving them a chance to run for their life.

Are they really this blind and this stupid? Or is it just a method to convince themselves that they are merely “humans” defending their holy Israel? Or do they care in the first place if their targets were actually Hamas militants or innocent people? Because also, according to the Israeli logic, these citizens are protecting Hamas militants and hence they are culprits that are helping a terrorist organization, and therefore why shouldn’t they die as well?

If this is the army being moral, then now I believe morality is also an invented concept that we use as we desire, or as people in power desire.

I know I promised not to play the “we’re all humans” card, but I can’t help it.

Yesterday four kids –with the oldest being 11- were bombed by an Israeli missile while playing soccer on the beach. How did the Israelis receive this “irrelevant piece of news”? As if it never happened, or as if it’s expected to happen, or blamed Palestinians themselves for it. How dare these stupid Palestinians send their kids out to play on the beach, it is war!!! And so what if four have died, the Israelis had three abducted and murdered, so these four kids aren’t better than the three murdered settlers.

Now with this kind of logic, from the Israeli military to the Israeli citizens to the world media and countries, don’t come and lecture me about “moralities”, “two-sides“ bullshit, and “why can’t we all be humans” nonsense. When the three Israeli settlers went missing, the entire world knew what they looked like, how old they were, what their names were and their favorite hobbies.

But when over 220 were bombed to death, the world seemed to let it slip through. No faces, no names, no hobbies … they are nothing. They are numbers. They are not even humans. They are the ones who brought it upon themselves for protecting Hamas missiles, because you know … Palestinian 11-year-old kids are miniature-adults and are supposed to be held responsible for Hamas’s actions and so it’s okay to bomb the hell out of them. They’re nothing but collateral damage.

And then again, the media would still say the Gazans are warned, they have time to evacuate, why won’t they go anywhere safe? Why are there no shelters?

Well maybe if Gaza wasn’t bombed every two years, and maybe if construction materials were allowed in, and maybe if there was infrastructure in the first place, maybe then Gazans will be able to have shelters. But other than that, Gaza is not just the biggest open-air prison on planet earth anymore; it’s the biggest cemetery as well.

And as much as I’d love it if they can actually “swim for it”, as Jon Stewart has indicated in his comic satire of the situation, he forgot a tiny small detail. The sea is also controlled by the Israelis, so scratch that off the list of the possibilities to escape. There is no escape.

Looking back on this past month alone, and for a second here I’ll forget about decades of pain and oppression, from the kidnapping of the three “human” settlers, to their murder, to the kidnapping of Muhammad Abu Khdeir and burning him to death, to the massacre of Gazans for the past 10 days … I find myself resenting people in general more and more. I resent it when I’m scrolling down facebook newsfeed to have someone celebrating their birthday among two posts of how four kids in Gaza were bombed while playing on the beach, and how a hospital for the handicapped was bombed. I can’t tolerate “happy” and “relieved” at the moment. Every time I laugh at something, or drink my favorite coffee, or have the luxury to read my books calmly and comfortably, I feel guilty and I resent myself.

At least it started like this, me resenting myself and then it kept growing and growing. Then I started resenting happy people, and afterwards it grew some more. Now more than ever I resent those who die peacefully, I don’t want to know about an 86 year-old man who died peacefully in the arms of his family and loved ones. I don’t want to know about some heroic woman who lost her battle against cancer and was able to say goodbye to every single one of her loved ones. I resent them. Why do they get a chance to say goodbye? Why do they get to have some kind of a safe lifetime with their loved ones while kids and innocent people are being bombed to death?

“Don’t be so cruel” was what my friend from Gaza has told me when I confined to her my resentment of people with ordinary lives. The girl who is right under the wing of death on daily basis is telling me to not be so cruel. Then she added, “Don’t let the war take away your humanity from you, it has already taken too many humans”.

But well, I had to disappoint her, I had already lost my humanity. I admit it, I’m no longer the sympathetic, equal-rights advocate (wanna-be), and humanitarian that I was once considered to be. I lost that segment, but then again the world isn’t any better.

Actually, for once in human history we are all equal. We are all bystanders to massacres committed against innocent people on daily basis, bystanders to massacres in Syria, in Gaza, in Iraq, in different parts of Africa, in Ukrain … etc.

So maybe the Palestinian media and Pro-Palestine activists should stop begging and pleading people around the world to “wake up”, and stop screaming at them with “where’s your humanity” while carrying images of disfigured bodies of little kids who were bombed to death. If anything at the moment, it’s only pointless and inhumane.

And since we’re all inhuman in this together, it won’t make a difference anyway.